Friday, 19 June 2015

How I knew I wanted to be a Writer

 Its not easy knowing your future self, especially when your still young, the world is your oyster and all that stuff. When I was really young I wanted to be a vet like most others my age, or a fireman, a policeman, a nurse, but what percentage of us actually go on to become any of those things? At college my friends would say "well I don't know what to do" when the teacher asked them, and it was the same for me. I feel very gifted to have a fair few talents, although I am not so talented in academic subjects. In the end I found myself studying art & design. I was lucky to have an extremely encouraging teacher, who adored my work and tried to push me in the right direction. It didn't occur to me until now, at nearly 20 years of age, that art really wasn't for me. Though at times I thoroughly enjoyed it, it wasn't the career path I wanted to walk down. I noticed that for years of my life I had studied it purely for the satisfaction of others, rather than for self pleasure. 

 It was a very confusing time for me, as I'm sure it is for many of you now. I was so certain of my future, I even applied to several prestigious art schools to earn a degree, which I was more than qualified for. Sadly I didn't get a single interview, and after years of constantly pushing myself to the limit, putting everything into my work, it was a really big blow, and it really knocked my confidence. Then things changed. Elijah came along unexpectedly, so I had to put studying aside for a while, and put his needs before my own. Since he's grown older, I've started to look more into what I want. Ultimately I'm glad things went the way they did, as I feel its cleared the way for me to become a writer, not that I believe in fate.

 The moment I knew I wanted to become a writer, was a big eureka moment. It still shocks me now that it never once occurred to me. I feel that it has always been there underneath the surface, but I was never really brave enough to call myself a writer, let alone write any decent material. As a writer you always question yourself. Am I good enough to be a writer? Can I actually write? Would it earn me enough money to support my family? Is this a good idea for a story? Every time I would automatically answer no to all of those questions. Recently I've started to believe in myself a bit more. When I was really little I loved to read books. I excelled at reading in school. I wrote my own little stories and then illustrated them as well. I wasn't the best at English, but my work has improved as the years have gone on. I worked hard at my GCSE'S and left school a very happy girl, with an A in both English Literature and English Language. My teacher mostly commended me on my descriptive style of writing. To this day I read many books, mostly YA, and I love it. Reading is one of the only things that makes me truly happy. It has really helped me with my depression, I honestly don't know where I would be without books. I just wish I could have figured it all out a lot sooner. 
 Since realising who I truly am, I have taken big steps to improve my future. One of them being enrolling on an open university course for an English Literature and Creative Writing Degree. Although I'm sure it will be challenging, I am rearing to get going, and so excited for the future. I'm still reading away, though I don't get through books as quickly as I used to. I have many ideas for books buzzing away in my head, ready to be put down onto paper. Currently, I'm working on my first draft of my first ever novel, and although I still have a long way to go, I genuinely think the story has potential, and one day I hope to see a book that I've written on the shelves at Waterstones, and Whsmith, it would be just the best feeling ever! Finally I would feel as though I've accomplished something great.

 My advice to others who don't know what to do with themselves, particularly teenagers who are leaving school, is simply don't worry yourself over it. Being young you have time to explore and experiment with different things, you have all the time in the world to figure out your future. For the older people who are maybe considering studying, you are never to old to learn! Knowledge is power I say, even if you have children, there are still plenty of oppertunities. Knowing your future self takes time and patience. I really believe that if I hadn't been rejected by all those universities, I probably would have continued with my art studies, and I would now be in an occupation I don't enjoy. Most importantly do what you love and what your passionate about, rather than what your good at, or what others think you are good at. You have to be in it for yourself to be able to reach your goals. There will be many obstacles in your way, but life is a journey, and sometimes you have to learn on your own, with no one to guide you. It will all come to you eventually, and you will be rewarded for all your hard work. 

I hope you have enjoyed this post, and maybe it has inspired some of you, particularly young and hopeful writers to reach for the stars, and believe that you can achieve great things, despite how it might appear in this moment. Its a bit different from my usual posts, but its definitely something I feel strongly about, and so I really wanted to write about it. Remember, work hard, show determination, and believe in yourself. 

I'd love to hear about all of your experiences, what your doing now, and what you wish to do in the future, if you know yet that is. It would be interesting to read your comments. I wish you all a bright future, and an amazing week x






Sunday, 7 June 2015

First Ever Favourites Video!


Hello lovely readers! I have a super quick post to share with you all, if your interested in my Youtube videos this will apply to you. The other day I filmed my first ever favourites video, and I am quite proud of myself (is that too bigheaded?) I'd love for you all to check it out and give me feedback. I have a post coming up very soon, so watch this space :) 

Thank you for reading as always, much love x